Chris Rock documentary called "Good Hair" had everyone talking about hair, and it also fueled a world-wide debate on African hair. Some people picked up on, for example that it's a billion dollars industry which doesn't go into the black community, others mentioned that its a another evidence within the black community of self-hate. But here is what I managed to pick up on, the very first scene of the movie, Chris Rock has two daughters, and he is very much in their lives, and he tells them very often that there are very beautiful. But despite all that, he says that his young daughter Lola came home one day, and asked him why "she doesn't have good hair?"Again, a father who loves his daughter, who is in their lives, and lets not forget that he is a celebrity, so he can send them to the the best schools, pick and choose who he wants his children to play with. All of that and Chris Rock could not insulate his daughter from this hair thing.
One thing that frustrates me about this hair debate is that most people just jump right into the "your just trying to conform in to a white standard of beauty." Guys that is totally misses the point and here what I mean.
Lets say were watching a hair commercial, and there is a little Asian girl on there and she just got hair done, so she takes her hair and flips her hair back, which is one enticing move. Somewhere in the world, there is a little white girl watching that same commercial and she says 'that's cool that she can do that' and she tilts her head and flips her hair back just like the Asian girl. Somewhere around the world, a little Latino girl sees that same commercial and she takes her hair and she does the same move the little Asian girl did. Still a little black girl sees that same commercial and she goes to flip her and "what the hell? why cant I not do that with my hair?"
I don't know why everybody keeps on focussing on white, white, white, as if white people are the only ones with non-kinky hair. Every other race has hair that's similar enough that they can achieve common hairstyle, except for black people. Its not about white. You could take a little black child and put them in a room full of Asian kids and if those Asian kids are flipping and doing all sorts of stuff to their hair the little black girl is probaly gonna feel left out. And it has absolutely nothing to do with those kids being white. They are ASIAN! Asians dont have kinky hair, Indians dont have kinky hair, Latinios (the ones who dont have African ancestory) dont have kinky hair. I dont understand how people dont get that. Focusing on white misses the point big time.
We blacks here in the Western World, we dont live by ourselves, we live in a multi-cultural society with other races. Certain fads come and go and some of those fads include hairstyles. Some black women see these hairstyles and they want their hair like that but its not just possible with the type of hair they naturally have. So they alter it.
"UH but why do you what to conform to a white standard of beauty, you need to love yourself."
Well for one thing, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That child has already decided what they like, you telling them something different is on the same lines of you taking a food that they dont like and saying it tastes good here eat it. I'm not even sure that you can change someone else preference. And I'm not saying that someones preference can't change, I'm just saying that no one can change someone else preference.
They maybe some issues that cause some black women to alter their hair but that's something they have to do deal with. And all this extra talking about what they should do is pointless. Now for those of you who say that perming your hair or wearing hair extensions is evidence of self-hate, lets just say that it is. Lets just say that we all saw that commercial with the girl flipping her hair when we were little kids, and we try to flip our hair and it didnt work and from that point on we didn't like our hair. So we all recieved this little injury to our pyche at a very early age. Everybody has this injuries and hurts in their hearts that never go away but its okay because were still functional. Lets take an example Oprah, she made it pretty clear on her show that she has no intention in the near future of going natural.
So according to these people who keep saying its self-hate, she self-hating. But how those this self-hete manifest in her life? Lets see shes dating a black guy, has been for many years, she raised the money to open a school over in South Africa primarily for black girls (there are some girls of other races in there) but its mostly for black girls. And she makes sure that they all get their hair done, because she knows how much of an issue hair is been for young black girls so she makes sure that they get their hair done. Oh yeah that sounds real self hating to me. But lets forget about all that lets go a little simpler, she doesn't commit crimes, and even if she did, good luck tying that back to her hair, she goes to work and pays her taxes and she makes friends with women of other races, she doesn't go around bashing them, so really what other evidence do you have that she hates her self other than that she perms her hair. A person of another race, who doesn't know all the story what we do to our hair, will they look at her and say well "there is a self-hating black women right there".
Let talk about your regular black women, they go to school, they get their education or they find some type of job, they raise their kids. Now some black women do comitt crimes, their bad mothers, they dont keep a job, there on welfare, but goodluck tying that back to their hair. Show me how this so-called self-hate manifest other than perming the hair or wearing weaves. Well some people have said that they are spending money on their hair when they should be spending it on other things. Okay thats true, buts thats a financial problem, thats evidence of not knowing how to spend your money correctly, because they wont just missuse their money on hair, they also get new outfitts, get their nails done, make sure their babies have a new pair of Nikes, they will do all that its just not the hair. And black guys, I've seen some black guys who will have a new pair of designer shoes every week, once that designer shoes get one little speck of dirt they will throw it out and get a new pair, or they spend their money on going to the clubs, expensive phones, or whatever.
Spending money on the wrong thing is just a symptom withthin the Black community, you cant just say that its only black women spending money on their hair. Also they is no evidence that black women avoid dating, marrying and making babies with guys who have kinky hair, yes their are some black women who do but ultimately the majority of black women do not avoid black men with kinky hair. So you cant even point at that say that a problem. Show me a real life manifestation of this so-called self-hate, point out a problem that is directely linked to black women hating their hair. It will be differnt if the only women who perm their hair were poor women or stupid women, or women who were incarcerated but it goes across all classes, all walks of lifes of black women. There is no common thread runniung through all these women other then that their all black and they change their hair. You cant say thay they all seem too be more criminal, you cant say they go around beating up white women so really where is this manifestation of this self-hate. I dont really think their is one but if you do find one make sure that it doesn't occur in black men because if it those then we know that its not the about hair.
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