Can You Really Just Be Friends With Benefits?

I first heard of the term 'friends with benifits' when I was 20 years old, and in relationship terms was going through what I call my Brigit Jones period. This undeniable tragic approach to the opposite sex surprisingly led to one 'special relationship' with a visiting American student called Elijah. One evening, Elijah and I were doing that masochistic thing of talking about our sexual past, and Elijah told me he'd had a 'friend with benefits' at college. 'You're friends's he explained, 'but sometimes you have no-string sex'. I was disappointed, appalled and slightly intrigued. Its sound ideal-safe,casual sex with someone you like until you find something more substantial. However, as a wise pessimist once told me: 'If something appears too good to be true, it probably is'. 


FWB, as its called, changes things. Ladies; if you're jumping on the FWB Express or the YOLO (You Only Live Once) coach, you need to realize that the man will never see you in the same way again. Because for better or worse, a line has been crossed. 
For a start, its's impossible for us to interact diffidently with someone whose undergrowth we've rummaged in, so to speak. We will when talking, occasionally think about you naked or rummaging in our undergrowth. But that's just the basics. 


I tried being an FWB with a man called Kenneth (not his real name, just in case you all a wondering). Kenneth was smart, sexy and I really fancied him. However, our 'matey' chats meant I knew that romance was not on the cards. He didn't want to settle down, until he'd slept with at least 80 women and I was number 40. Kenneth was no going to be tied down, metaphorically speaking anyway. 


Fairly soon I became number 41, on the basis that I' knew the score (literally). I loved our nights together. Problem was, I think I loved him too. So when he told me about number 42 and 43, I became jealous. I didn't need a premium-rate psychic hotline to know where things were going, so I cut off all contact. I's lost both the friend and the benefits and worse still, I later found out that he'd settle down with number 45. 

Take two people who get on well, add orgasms, and there's a good chance that at least one of them will want more. After all, its only one monogamous step away from proper relationship. Of course, its possible you'll both get the love bug. Even so, you'll still have to come to terms with certain things. Like the fact that the usually exciting 'getting to know you' bit has been purely anatomical and that possibly, you already know too much. Could you cope with the memory of your beloved graphically describing sexual gymnastics with someone else? Let me tell you, men are particularly bad in this. I'm not saying that a FWB can never be a good thing. What I'm trying to say is that there are no return tickets. Don't say I didn't warn you...